Intentionally Serving Your Husband - The Master Suite

A little over a year ago, I had a dear friend share about this blog series and how it was impacting her view of hospitality.  Around the same time, I was getting tired of our messy master bedroom and was feeling convicted about my lack of focus on that area of our home.  The post that impacted me the most was, "Hospitality begins in bedroom".  This series of posts recently became an ebook, so I wanted to summarize her point for you...

The main idea:  Instead of having your master bedroom be an afterthought in your home...the place where "no one really sees anyway", your master bedroom should be one of the highest priorities for your decorative talents and cleaning skills to shine.  Wives have the opportunity to set the tone for the marriage in this bedroom, where husbands retire at the end of a long day.  Let this be an opportunity to minister and show hospitality to your husband by providing a space of rest and retreat, even if the rest of your home is struggling to hold together.

Wow.  This post struck me at just the right time.

Our unfinished master bedroom, shortly after we moved in.  It didn't change much for a long time!
An unfinished version of a gallery wall I started that is luckily in completion stage these days!  Don't mind our bathroom door that isn't stained or on it's hinges :-)

After over a year of living in our home, I'd finished almost every other room in our house EXCEPT our master bedroom, which didn't really have a decorative plan or direction.  I kept thinking, "well, no one really goes back there except Brad and I, so it doesn't really matter if it's decorated."  It had never occurred to me that just the opposite was true...the most important person in my earthly life goes back there everyday.  WE see our bedroom.  WE live in our bedroom.  How could I consider it to be un-important anymore?  I wondered what positive marital impacts we were missing out on due to the mess in the master.

Now, when this all struck me, I had just given birth to Lewis.  There was a newborn in our room, I was waking up multiple times a night, and I was adjusting to a new routine during the re-decorating was not an overnight change.  Somewhere in the midst of the early months of having a baby, I developed a plan to re-vamp our bedroom (or at least finish it) to be something that we could really enjoy as a retreat.  I ordered fabric, a new throw, purchased pillows we actually like along with curtains, and purged the room of unnecessary junk.  I no longer wanted this to be a catch-all space for things that didn't have a place in any other room.  Brad was even inspired to help move our furniture around and invest in a new mattress that we love.

At every turn, I kept taking stuff OUT.  Baby stuff, papers, clothes that weren't in season, magazines, and stacks of books.  Cleansing the room and just leaving the bare minimum suddenly made it much easier to keep tidy.  We remained committed to at least TRYING to keep all of our laundry contained and under control...and I committed to having our bed made everyday before Brad got home from work (a habit that I admittedly didn't have).  Also, we tried to keep our room as "child-free" as possible (which was very hard until Lewis was older).  Each day I would gather up the random assortment of toys, clothes, and burp cloths to go back into the nursery.

Now, almost a year since this process started, I am seeing the fruits of this important change.  Here are a few of the perks:

  • We both actually enjoy being in the bedroom together at's relaxing, and it helps us wind down.  We regularly find ourselves spending time together or just reading.  It's so peaceful.
  • When we retire to our bedroom, we almost forget we have a child.  There are no pictures of Lewis, and no evidence of him in the form of toys and clothes.  For a moment it's just US.
  • Brad appreciates the change, and enjoys being able to have a special spot in the house that is clean and calm (even if other rooms aren't).  He likes being able to get ready in the morning with ease, not battling piles of laundry and stuff.

I admit that we don't keep it perfectly clean every single day.  There are times and seasons when it does get a little messy (especially when we have guests or a busy schedule), but I'm more motivated than ever to get back in there and clean it up before it gets too bad.  I know that we have two boys coming to our little marriage haven in the near future, and for that season there will be evidence of children again.  But overall, I feel so happy to have a space that we both enjoy and appreciate that shows hospitality to my husband.

Next post - details on our "finished" master bedroom and practical tips for decorating and reducing clutter!

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